U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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