whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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