i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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