I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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