Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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