Porn is love you can see.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
