i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
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i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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