Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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