Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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