Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
