If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
