i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
