it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
