I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
