That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
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yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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