the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I AM VODKA MAN
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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