I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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