Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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