shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
