That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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