what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
