I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
