halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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