Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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