I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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