I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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