we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
