I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
