Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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