the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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