Have you finally orgasmed yet?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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