Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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