Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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