Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
