my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize