I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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