I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
