no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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