His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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