so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
