That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Randomize
