I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
