508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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