before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
