is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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