The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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