Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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