2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
