you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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