Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
