they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
