I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
