apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize