I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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