Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
