'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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