Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
