cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
