You smell like stripper and shame
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
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I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
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YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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