i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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