I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
