I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
