"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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