just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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