i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
