I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
