She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
