I wish my penis had an off switch
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
