dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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